Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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