i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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