she looked like the before picture.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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