i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
