THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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