Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
