It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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