A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
