I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
