There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
