im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize