woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
