Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
