Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
