i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
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i need to put some appletini on your dick
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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