WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
