girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
