i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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