His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
