It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
