Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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