wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize