Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
