butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
