I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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