Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
someone threw a dead crab at me
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
