my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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