He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
As shirtless as possible
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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