They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
