I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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