She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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