Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
