I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
