You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
