if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
