I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
