R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
