Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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