I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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