so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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