omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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