question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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