i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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