i just google imaged poop.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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