I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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