If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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