I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize