So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
