So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize