this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
