Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
