He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i drank out of a bidet.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
