Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
