I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
