4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I am in a vortex of obligation.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just found puke in my bra..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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