He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize