So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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