Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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