Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
