why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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