Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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