Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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