spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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