so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize