thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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