I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
