how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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