I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
