It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
