4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
