Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
